Delete or Destroy?

Delete... Comes from the Latin deletus, past participle of delēre to wipe out, destroy.  The simple modern version of the word Delete: to remove (something, such as words, pictures, or computer files) from a document, recording, computer, etc. is much nicer.  However can this little button impact our lives as the root implies?

Deleting is necessary sometimes when we need to wipe the slate clean and move on.  Like the 19,7470 unread emails (mostly spam) sitting in that account from when you thought BaddAss9@ or PrettySexy1@ was a cool email.  Then when your resume was the focus, kmsmith@ became your preferred choice.  Or removing those contacts in your phone that you haven't called in 5 years.  Yes, you meant it when after 12 tequila shots you and your new best friend that you had everything in common with Pat decided to hike the Rockies but it just never happened.

So is deletion really about letting go?  If someone deletes you as a "contact" or a "friend", never picks up when you call they aren't worth your time.  If they bombard you with negative input they steal your time.  Or is it knowing when to delete instead of send or post? Its all fun and games until someone blurts out something at the wrong time or someone misinterprets what we meant.  We've all probably been or will at some point be a part of that nightmare.  We encapsulate our lives in electronic bubbles; e-mail, text, comments, etc.  Deleting is a defensive move at best.  We need to think before we send, save or post or even type!  That send button is easy to hit by mistake and once it's out there, its out there. 

Boxes of Possibilities...

As they say; "Today is a Gift; that's why they call it the Present".  Understanding that statement takes a balance of life experience to say the least. Too little and your impatience gets the best of you and if there been too much you may be jaded and miss the point as well.  Living in the "Present" means you can let go of the burdens and guilt of what was or wasn't and revel in the possibilities of today.  The future is never promised and what you do today will create it anyway.  So it's OK to step back a little bit to resurrect and open a few of the boxes of possibilities you may have waiting to act on.  But do something and move forward, because living in the past hasn't gotten you anywhere now has it?  DMT 

Blessings photo by DMThompson Copyright GoldenMark, Ltd. 2016 All Rights Reserved

Beartrap Falls, Shawano, Wisconsin

I have an American Indian Heritage.  My Grandmother on my fathers' side was a member of the Menominee nation of Native Americans.  In fact, my Great Grandfather was a Tribal Chief.  Menominee means “wild rice people” in Ojibwe. The Ojibwe gave the Menominee this name because they mainly grew wild rice for their staple food.  The tribe originally lived in what is now upper Michigan near Mackinac. After selling their lands to the U.S. government through treaties from 1821 to 1848, they were moved to Wisconsin. 

When I was a young girl, we used to visit relatives in Wisconsin.  During my 4th summer we went to visit and we were swimming in the lake on a hot day.  Too small to climb the tall metal slides into the water with the "big Kids" my metal sand pail and I remained on the shore.  I did not yet know how to swim.  I went out into the water and ventured too deep sinking under the water.  From nowhere one of my Menominee second cousins, Ingrid, who was three years my senior, pulled me up and out of water.  Placing me on the shore she returned to romp with the older kids.   I can still recall the panic of sinking in the cold waters.  My little toes desperately searching for the bottom as my neck struggled to reach above the surface of the water.  Through the years I have wondered what would have happened if she wasn't there.  Neither of us told any of the adults about what had happened that afternoon. 

Our families were not very close.  We did go to the same dancing school for a while she and her family were also living in Chicago.  But since she was older, we only crossed paths at the dance recitals.  At some point they moved back up to the reservation.  She grew up and became a Human Rights activist and an award-winning lecturer who spoke worldwide on behalf of the rights of Indigenous Peoples.  In 1999 Ingrid was murdered by FARC guerrillas in Colombia.  I found out about it at work, over hearing a radio news report.  Immediately I recalled the incident at the lake and felt numb.  I realized magnitude of her courageousness.  I silently thanked her and wished her a safe journey into the spirit world.  By special permission she is buried in her parents back yard.  I finally saw her resting place a couple of years ago.  I left her tobacco and again thanked her for saving my life that day now so long ago.

Recently I have been going through some very intense personal challenges.  Trusting the wrong people has left me alone in a cold world with quite the same helpless feeling of sinking into the cold waters.  Not knowing where to turn, I put out a cry for help into the universe for guidance and recently I have had spiritual visions of birds and a visit in a dream from a relative whose tribal name was O'Peqtaw-Metamoh - Flying Eagle Woman a.k.a. Ingrid.  Once again, She reached in and pulled me out of the water to safety.  Only it was a turbulent river this time.  There was a white flight feather behind.  I thought she had lost it, but now I realize it was mine from my own wings.  Eagle flight feathers are not white.  I no longer feel alone or helpless.  I know the journey will take me home and I am beginning to understand how to get there.  But more than that regaining trust, even if it is just in me, is a gift to be cherished.

Money troubles? It seems like life is all about money.  But just look at nature, it provides for all with no cash or credit required.  Alas, even nature falls victim to its lure.  I saw a bird pecking at something shiny on the ground, it was a penny.  It couldn't pick it up, so it flew away.  Man's greed has ruined many things, still in nature all just seek to adjust.  Maybe therein lies the lesson.  If something can't be grasped, don't bother with it and if you have no control, just seek to adjust.  DMT

Hello?

"I'm not hanging up...This is me saying Good Bye. I have to go now..." Isn't it funny that as human beings we seem to learn best by our mistakes? Self administered Aversion Therapy. As small children Mommy told us not to touch that!...but we had to anyway. It burned us, fell on us or broke on us. We cried, we healed and we went on a little wiser for the experience.

But there is one particular area that it seems some of us REALLY can't get it into our brain that we are allowing our self get hurt; personal relationships. When it comes to love and friendship there is a part of us that seems to just be inanely stupid. Seemingly very intelligent people get themselves involved in things with people that might as well be wearings sings that say; "Pick me! I will help burn you, push you until you fall and break you (and your heart)." Why is this? Why is it so hard to let go of something that emotionally hurts? When we instinctively grab the handle on the iron skillet on the stove (forgetting it does not have an insulated handle) we immediately let go. We don't keep holding on waiting for our hand not to get seared to a perfect golden brown like tuna; WE LET GO! But when we are in a heated argument we have to stay there to WIN! at all costs. Perplexing to say the least.

Fortunately we posses "brain plasticity", the ability to change. The brain is designed to change this is what allows us to keep learning and growing emotionally. Letting go before we get hurt is a product of the process of associating a bad past experience and then using that information to keep us out of harms way. Now it is true that you can become emotionally scarred and go too far the other way which is not good either. Just hiding until your lights go out will not equal a fulfilled life either. So how do you balance? Pay Attention.

The reason you grab the handle on the iron skillet is because you are on proverbial "auto pilot". Most of our pots and pans are equipped with insulated handles that keep us from getting burned so we forget to assess the situation on a case by case basis. This causes us to be shocked when it is too hot to handle, but we quickly draw from our previous life lessons to let go. If we make a conscious effort to become more aware we will see many "dangerous situations" waiting to happen and act accordingly so we completely avoid the hurt or in the instance that we encounter something we could not have foreseen like reaching for a hot metal door handle that has been in the sun for four hours, at least we can react quickly to get us back to safety as soon as possible and LET GO!

Digressing to the opening line, it's the letting go that matters in the immediate. While we hang in the relationship/situation that is making us miserable that ultimately will keep hurting until we let go, we are just not doing what we know we should do. Even if you feel it is your fault; miserable and hurting is bad. Letting go, healing and LEARNING THE LESSON is good. Sometimes we have to let go, it's OK, really.

Not all Marshmallows are for Eating

When my daughter Allyson was working at the pet store miscellaneous additional residents arrived in our home unannounced. These included; several fish, an African dwarf frog, a fresh water shrimp and one unintended addition a pink-eyed white mouse.

The mouse was supposed to be delivered to a friend of hers as dinner for a snake. She was just stopping in for a minute and it was a hot day so she brought in the plastic container with the obviously shaken tiny little guy so he wouldn’t roast in the car- kind of an ironic action. She placed the container on the kitchen counter and I asked “What is that?” She explained his fate to which I replied “He looks like a little marshmallow. I can’t let you feed him to a snake.” and his ultimate fate was sealed.

On board, Allyson returned to the pet store and another mouse was picked up to be sent to his fate at her friend’s house. This one, left in the car when she returned with a cage for our new addition and other rodent necessities for his comfort. I asked her if a cage was OK. Questioning if it might not hold him. Working at a pet store clearly made her an expert so when she explained it would be a cleaner environment and the close space between the bars would keep him in I proceeded to set him up in his new habitat on the same counter where Marshmallow’s destiny had been altered.

The center of attention for the next hour or so, Allyson’s step-father said he didn’t really like having a “rat” in the house but realized he had been over ruled. Lilly my granddaughter heard him and began calling him the “Marshmallow Brat” to soon be known as Marsh. The fanfare faded off and Marsh seemed to be settling in nicely so we got on with life. Just by chance I decided to check on him again. Something didn’t look right. Looking closer I noticed he had squeezed through the bars and he was behind the cage! I grabbed him by the tail and found a small plastic aquarium that was currently unoccupied to put him in. Not having been bred for the wild his life had been saved twice in one day. Allyson returned the cage and exchanged it for a safer easy to clean small glass aquarium that was inescapable.

Marsh flourished in his new home. We got used to the perpetual squeaking of the wheel throughout the night and he quickly learned what fresh produce and popcorn was. We often have Chinese wonton soup that comes with crunchy noodles that my granddaughter loved to snack on even before she had teeth. We ended up calling them “Chinese Baby treats”. She eventually would share them with the dogs, so they were then called “Chinese Dog and Baby treats”. One day she wanted to give one to the mouse and we discovered that he LOVED them! So now they were “Chinese Mouse, Dog and Baby treats”. As you might figure Marsh was quickly growing into a chubby not so tiny guy.

Now pegged a sucker at the pet store, there was a hamster with a tumor in his head that got sent to our house to give him some “life before death.” He lived out a couple of months with the same pampered life as Marsh. Eventually the tumor got so large one eye was forced shut and he could no longer drink water from the spout. Every little while for a few days I gave him a drink with an eye dropper. He would put his little paw on my finger and drink a few drops then return to the corner to sleep. Then the day came when he didn’t wake up. He was buried under the willow tree in the yard and his larger aquarium which was now a much better fit for his size became Marsh’s new home.

After about a year Marsh’s perfect charmed life was interrupted by a condition he developed called Mouse OCD. Mice exhibit increased anxiety and compulsive behaviors associated with OCD, such as excessive grooming. At one point he had scratched all the fur off his chest and upper arms and he stopped running in his wheel. I would actually hear him squeak in pain and I would speak softly to him which seemed to bring some comfort. Articles suggested adding things to chew on as a diversion but he continued to groom himself raw. The only thing I could think of doing was try to help him heal. He seemed to be losing his appetite as too. I got him some vitamins actually meant for larger rodents. He was not doing well and I figured what did I have to lose? To my relief they did help some. But he still kept scratching. Mostly his left side of the face now and his face was puffy but his appetite was returning and he was beginning to run in his wheel again.

Allyson had warned me that his life expectancy was less than a year. By New Year’s Day 2012 he had already beaten the expected life span by six months. Last night he crawled into his little log filled with fluff he arranged as his warm comfy bed and went to sleep forever. Good Night Marsh, sleep tight. I hope they have Chinese mouse treats in mouse heaven.

RIP Marsh 2010-2012

Seeing Red

One of his students asked Buddha "Are you the messiah?" "No", answered Buddha . "Then are you a healer?" "No", Buddha replied. "Then are you a teacher?" the student persisted. "No, I am not a teacher." "Then what are you?" asked the student exasperated. "I am awake", the Buddha replied...The Buddha possesses the wisdom of the ages. I meditated with the Buddha this morning for direction and was instructed to burn two vanilla tea lites on a dull flat reddish stone. The vanilla soothed my melancholy insecurity and increased my senses while the dull red stone gave off a very apparent red glow in the candle light. This alerted me my red chakra was blocked which was what was causing me great anxiety among other issues as it is the first chakra and there would be no life without it as it supports in our body. In all humans the red chakra is active.

There are seven in all colors of the spectrum - our "invisible organs". They explain why light is nourishment to our bodies. Next the orange chakra brings understanding of how your actions affected the world this chakra is also active in all humans. The yellow chakra brings understanding of how the world affects you and broadens your realm of feeling and ability to analyze possible outcomes before they have occurred. It is not active in all humans and as we get further into the spectrum, one must work consciously activate them. The green chakra becomes activated, when you have reached an deep emotional understanding of self and others. Now very sensitive, not only can you feel deep love but pain in its absence. The blue chakra active lets you analyze things in a more advanced way. Usually only active in very charismatic people who can now master the ability to think in a deeper way and influence people to respond in their desired way. The indigo chakra causes your intuition, spiritual abilities & senses as well as the physical to be heightened beyond the average. The violet chakra is the spiritual one. It is the link to the source from which you came, to God. When this chakra is activated, it changes from violet to white.

This is a quick overview, just the tip of the iceberg. This fascinating subject is complex and requires much further study to grasp completely. When we understand more of our self and our world, our soul evolves. Buddhists believe that souls are continually passed on. You may get pangs of a past life and may already be an old soul further enlightened than you know and that annoying pest pillaging your cupboard or buzzing around your head just might be someone you once knew. Something to think about before you stomp or swat...

Hello Red Dragonfly photo by DMThompson Copyright 2011 GoldenMark, Ltd. All Rights Reserved.